Procrastination

I do a lot of things well, but I'd have to say that procrastinating is one of my talents that I believe truly trumps all the rest. I am so amazingly adept at this that I have yet to come across anyone who can muster quite the level of enthusiasm for the sport as I can. I don't mean to toot my own horn (or maybe I do) but when you're good at something it's best to just come right out and let everyone know... "Hey, here's something I do well."

I'm currently attempting to graciously accept this gift that has been bestowed upon me. It has been a long hard road, but somehow I have finally come to the realization that I simply cannot fight it anymore. After years and years of New Year's resolutions where I solemnly swore to myself (normally on Jan 3rd or 4th, because I had other things to do at the moment so I had to put off making my resolutions till later), that I would not put off for tomorrow what can be done today. I spent much of my time in these earlier years attempting to develop a plan for handling things as they came up, but somehow I always ended up delayed.

I think one of my most ingenious methods of disguising my problem to the world was the extensive schedule overload I participated in. I made sure that my schedule was so full that I always had an excuse as to why I've put something off, for I must have been busy doing something else at the time when I really should have been doing what I was so surreptitiously avoiding. eh, eh? Genius!

Of course I have fallen back on many of the tried and true methods of procrastination cloaking activities... These are much more familiar to most novice practicers. They include the infamous getting really angry when someone else notices that you have not sufficiently covered up your procrastinationalistic (yeah I made it up gimme a break) lifestyle, and delivering a full verbal assault to the offending individual. Much like spraying a noxious skunk like odor at them and fleeing the other way while they gasp for air. Primitive, yet very effective.

My skills of psychological and verbal manipulation were greatly improved during my tenure as a covert procrastinator. You see, I could make someone else believe that it was not only a good thing that I hadn't completed the task I should have, but also something that had a preconceived, perfectly clear, understandable reason behind the untimely un-fullfillment of my obligations.

Of course there are many other unmentioned methods out there, and I, being the veteran that I am, have probably applied all of them at least once to various events or deadlines in my life. So with that said, I leave you with the inside scoop... I am a procrastinator, a damn good one, and I have completely given up on changing it. I'm resigning to the fact that I will always stress myself out over deadlines because I will never attempt to finish things early and I'm accepting that I must acknowledge my talents for at least I'm good, no really good at something.