Home Again

I haven’t written one of these in a while. I just spent 10 glorious days on vacation, visiting family in both Washington and California, and I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect time. I was spoiled rotten, by my family once again (what else is new), and I managed to be the recipient of a giant, absolutely gorgeous baby shower thrown in my honor.

First, I must say, I don’t know how I lucked into such an incredible time in my life. Every time, I reflect on how things are going, the word charmed comes to mind. Don’t get me wrong, we have our struggles, (mainly financial struggles), but what young couple doesn’t? It just seems that every time we need help or some sort of assistance, someone is always there to catch us.

I got to spend a couple of days with my dad, which is always a highlight for me on my voyages to the homeland. We went out to dinner and spent time talking about what’s important in life, namely, teaching my daughter how to throw like a boy, and making sure that I read to her every night. My dad swears that this reading every night thing is the key to success, and believes whole heartedly that it can change the world, one introvert at a time.
Reading was and is still such an integral part of my life, one which is nurtured by my father and his presentation of books for me to read upon every meeting. Some people bring fruit cake, or a bottle of wine, my dad brings me Ray Bradbury, Ernest Hemingway and Isaac Asimov. We meet and talk of inventions; ones which I think are crazy and utterly outlandish; the same ones which my dad thinks are entirely possible, and needless to say, already in their preliminary stages of life.

I’ve always envied this outside the box thinking, for no matter how much knowledge I acquire through countless hours in classrooms and nights with my nose buried in books, the truth of the matter is that I need a pattern. A method in which to go about things, someone else who knows what they are talking about to tell me that whatever crazy idea I have is alright, and in fact has been pioneered before, and oh, just in case they might come in handy, here’s a full instruction manual and a detailed set of blue prints. Inventions, yeah right.
He scoffs at his genius, saying that it’s really not genius, but doesn’t offer any alternative… It’s just interesting work which he enjoys, something to play with. If only my toys could be that complex, if only I had the ability to look at all of life as one big puzzle which can be sorted out and made into a new picture whenever it best suited me. Nope, I’m stuck with my books, notes, and need for assurances that yes, this is the well lit, most traveled path, and that I will be safest if I just follow the arrows made out of the many moonraths running under foot. One day maybe I’ll stray a little, but for now, well, I guess coasting along works for me.

I spent the last week and a half coasting on a sea of hurried placidity. I had so many people to see and so many things to do, but I couldn’t deny the feeling of comfort and security I experienced even in my most hurried and rushed time. Things were important, but I had all the necessary players by my side. I left California feeling like I accomplished something. Friendships were reconciled and burdens were lifted off of those which should never have bared them to begin with.

Ocean’s Godmother Elizabeth should be in a circus with all of the juggling she was able to do… I’ll leave it at that, but suffice it to say that I couldn’t be happier with the time spent by her side, and I’m in awe of the gracious way she handled some not so graceful situations. The love she has for me and my family is apparent in the things she has willingly gone through just to make me comfortable. I want her to know that I realize that many sacrifices were made on her part for the ones she loves, yet she managed to not compromise a part of herself in the process. That takes tremendous inner strength, hopefully someday; I’ll have a piece of that too.

My mother and I, perpetually the best of friends (after I quit making her life a living hell), picked right up where we left off and were undeniably happy to share each other’s company. She’s such an incredible woman, one I am blessed to be able to call mom.
I cannot begin to even outline the gifts, both physical and emotional Lindy and Joe have bestowed upon me, so I will not attempt at this time. Perhaps in the next couple of days when I feel like crying from gratitude I will sit down and outline for all to see, their modern day sainthood. I’m not kidding, really, these people are unbelievable.

It’s kind of ironic, John has bouts of worry about losing the respect of my family because he’s not providing enough, or doing enough, or any other radical irrational thought which springs up in his mind, yet I have never felt more comfortable or well taken care of by any other person in my entire life. My father insists on telling me each and every time we are face to face, and other random times on the phone how lucky I am to have John and his family by my side. I don’t think that I’m capable of taking the gifts that I have received for granted, not because I’m such a gracious person, but because if I did, the sheer magnitude of them would probably rise up and knock me off my feet.