Internet Spades and Other Atrocities

I have a problem… Well, I have a lot of problems but I’m only going to admit to one, well, maybe two at this particular moment. I really, really like to play internet spades. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I mean, it’s a pretty simple game with not a lot of quick wit required, and it’s not like I’m making any money by doing so, or even improving my cat like reflexes or anything of that nature. I’d probably enjoy playing “real spades” with “real people” just as much but I don’t think it’s feasible to find three other people who are as hooked as I am. Not to mention, my weakness hits me at around 12:30 AM, or right before I leave for school.

Spades is definitely not a test of speed, or intense thought, so it provides ample opportunity for one to chat with the other players. Don’t judge me (had to get that out of the way first, and I’ll remind you further of said disclaimer as this blog goes on), but I actually really enjoy talking to some of the people that I meet on there.

Way back in Sept. of 2007 (I know ages ago) John and I were in Savannah, GA for a job interview. John was off doing various interview things and I had my opportunity to get a couple of hands in. That fateful day I met Bob or, “Mr. Journalist” as he prefers to be called. Actually, I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t prefer that but it makes me smile to know I make him squirm with the title.

Bob is (you guessed it) a journalist for a paper in Wichita, KS. A sports writer to be specific, and a very good conversationalist might I add. He also really enjoys it when I call him my “dear friend,” he says it makes him feel about 80 or something… Well Bob, you are much older than I am, live with it and pass the tea and crumpets. On a more serious note, Bob has lent much support to my desire to actually write something of some use someday and has aided in reviewing multiple homework essays (I’m so sorry you had to wade through those History projects). I feel very lucky to have found such a cool person through a random game of spades in a hotel room in Savannah.

I have not always been so lucky when it comes to internet altercations… I currently have an internet stalker whom I am dealing with. John and I had a good laugh at first about this dude, but he’s beginning to really, and I mean really annoy me. I’ve even complained about him to Bob… Oh yeah, it’s that bad. Much of the problem stems from the fact that he has multiple venues in which stalking can be accomplished,

Stalker Boy goes to school with me, and is in one of my study groups. Like all good study partners do, we exchanged info, i.e. phone numbers, and IM identities (again, watch that judging, it is the wave of the future in communication… I stand by that.). Our conversations began on a very normal, scholarly level, all about the subject at hand… He began to text me about homework and would send me emails with possible solutions. That was fine, no problems there… Then about two weeks into the mess the conversation turned from appropriate subjects to, well inappropriate ones.

I nipped that one in the butt immediately and was rather proud of myself. I felt extremely uncomfortable and told John what had been said and how I responded. John had a good laugh and then told me that I hadn’t seen the last of Stalker Boy. I was doubtful about this for I felt that I had sufficiently smashed his ego beyond reparation and that he would pick up the pieces and scamper off to his next subject. I informed John that I had taken care of it and John informed me that I was sorely mistaken for he was, you know that saying” Young dumb and full of…”

Well, John was right as he is more than I’d like to admit, and I have been dealing with Stalker Boy on a regular basis. It’s not so funny now, I’m really annoyed and well, pretty disgusted. Just a side note for my thousands of readers (cough), desperation is not hot. Stop it, you look like an idiot.

I’m frustrated by the whole situation for I hate having to “Appear Offline” all the time. I thought that the coast was clear for I have been quite a bitch in person to Stalker Boy and was again sure that this would squash any and all residual (he’s tenacious at least) hope that he might be harboring.
Last night I changed my status from “Appear Offline” to “Online” and said a silent prayer to the internet Gods for some peace and a reprieve from all idiots. I went to sleep sure that my combined effort of concentrated bitchiness, and unavailability for the past month and a half would have the much desired effect of warding off Stalker Boy.

I awoke this morning to an IM from, you guessed Idiotic Stalker Boy Extraordinaire gracing my computer screen with an equally repugnant message of “damn, look who’s online!” I swear, he’s trying to make me kill him. I’m at a loss of what to do, I can’t wait for this semester to be over for I will be free of all contact with him, and my internet will be safe from anymore dim-witted advances.

Uggh. John, you were right, I hate to admit it, but you were right, he’s not going away and I’m going to have to up the level of bitch from, pretty-bitchy to mega-bitch this coming week. Now I’m off to change my status once again to “Appear Offline” for I will spend the rest of my weekend lurking in the shadows and hunkering down in my stalker infested internet.