Sleep Anxiety

I should be spending the majority of my time this morning studying. I just can not bring myself to do so at the present moment. It’s not that I don’t want to, I feel studied out. Like my test grades are going to be what they will be regardless of what I do to try and tweak them any further. I have two pretty big tests this morning, Chemistry and American Government. I’ve been studying like crazy for both of them, but it seems that every time I open my Chemistry book this morning, a wave of apathy takes over and I can’t bring myself to look at moles and grams and empirical formulas for one more second.

With that said I decided that I would get my apathetic butt up and attempt to do something constructive… This is my attempt, don’t laugh. I have a hard time figuring out what to write about in these blog things, it’s not that I don’t have a million things running through my brain at all times, because of course, I do, it’s just that even I recognize that most of these things are pointless, and well, kind of boring.

I’m sure that most people wouldn’t want to sit through a description of my day, because I know that I start getting rather tired when I subject myself to a review of my day… Not because it’s so intense, mainly because I’m tired all the time… I mean, ALL THE TIME. I awoke yesterday afternoon to John snorting; he was trying to contain himself as he laughed at me and my situation. Apparently studying had become so interesting and I was so deeply engrossed in it that I hadn’t realized that I had fallen asleep, Chemistry book on my lap, pencil in one hand and eraser clutched tightly in the other. I was so sure of my skills that I was going to show Morpheus that I meant business. Who needs to be awake while studying? I guess I’m among the lucky few that feel the back of my eyelids contain the answers to all the questions in the universe, Chemistry and American Government included.

I’m actually rather annoyed with this sleeping thing. I find myself needing a nap in the middle of the day. I do mean needing, I can’t just forego the notion, and not lay my head down for a minute, because my body has decided that it is going to sleep and screw whatever else I’m doing at the moment, eating, studying, watching TV, listening to a lecture, yes, they’ve all been victims of my recent narcoleptic tendencies. People around me offer the pregnancy excuse rather forthrightly to explain this obnoxious new development in my life… I’m not so sure, maybe I’ve just hit upon a vein of laziness that I can’t shake, or maybe, I’ve become apathetic like all the other voters in America age 18-25 (residual effect from my American Gov’t. test).

Whatever the reason may be for my unexplained shut eye necessity, I hope that it runs its course and departs rather quickly. I have a Calculus test on Tuesday and I cannot afford to allow Mr. Siehl another victory. I do not believe that studying the inner workings of my dream land will provide me with sufficient answers to all of my Calculus woes, no, that should come from an intense study of my Shaum’s manuals coupled with an enthusiasm for the wonderful world of Calculus (where I am to harvest this enthusiasm is still a mystery… I shall find it before Tuesday though, and report back to you.).

So I will leave you with some honest truths about me… I’m lazy, I’m avoiding many uncomfortable things by writing this blog at this particular moment, and I have absolutely no idea where I will unearth a new found love for Calculus… Maybe if I dig deeper into my Siehl hatred… Yeah that’s a thought. So, I’m off to procrastinate a little further, and dread the approaching Chem. test, watch the clock, and think of me. Smile a little to yourself at around 2 or so this afternoon, for I will be deprived of my afternoon nap, circumstances simply won’t permit it.