Math Schmath

It’s been an off week for me. I have been feeling rather odd and have had a lot of difficulty concentrating. I’ve also been extremely tired thus adding to my concentration deficiencies. I’m going to go ahead and get all the whining out of the way now, so brace yourself. My body feels odd, and I’ve been out of breath and have only been able to run a mile or two at a time during workouts. I’ve been hungry but indecisive on what sounds appetizing. I’m having a hard time at school, I got the lowest grade I’ve ever gotten on a test in college this last week; an 81% on my Calculus test.

While on my way home from school last night at 10:00, my night turned from a plethora of things to complain about to a silent moment of reminiscence of my youth. Test in hand, thoughts of resentment towards my 7th grade Math teacher began running through my head. Mr. Siehl, man was he the worst teacher I think to have ever graced the ranks of teachers worldwide. It is entirely Mr. Siehl’s fault that I received an 81% on this last test, for if he hadn’t called me stupid and told me that I would never amount to anything, and that he doesn’t even know why I pretend to be able to do Math in front of my other unfortunate 7th grade peers, I would never have felt obligated to take Calculus in the first place!

Damn him, I mean, Mr. Siehl gave me no way out… I can remember so clearly, the day that he handed a test back to us… He prefaced this event by standing up in front of the class and calling each student up individually, reading their full names which he inevitably massacred, their grade and adding a comment (mostly snide) to the already embarrassing task of having to walk to the front of class and retrieve your paper which, in my case was normally covered in red check marks. Damn those check marks.

On this particular day, all was going as planned, the students were in the midst of being sufficiently embarrassed and he called my name: Mihana (which came out nothing like it should have even if he pronounced it phonetically) Sherwood: 79.5% C+. I was shocked and for a moment thrilled by my almost B, for I had never achieved a score that high in his class before, most of the students never reached beyond the 70% range, but this was feeling of bliss was short lived, for as I stumbled out towards the front of the class, he told me to “stop right there.” In the middle of the aisle, what in the world could this be about? He peered at me over his bifocals and asked me if there was anything I would like to tell the class… “Um, no, not really, is there something that I should tell the class?” Silence and a deepening stare was all the answer that abhorrent man offered me. “Um, thanks, for my C+?” “How about how you went about achieving this tremendously high grade?” “I studied, and got a tutor?” He looked at me and responded with words that I will never forget: “Since you cheated, I figured that you would have the decency to own up to it, for we all know that you are simply not smart enough to attain this kind of score.”

I started shaking, I teared up, and he mockingly asked me if I was going to cry. I told him to give me my damn test, snatched it out of his hands and ran out of the classroom. The girls bathroom seemed like a wise place to seek refuge and it was there that I went. I don’t remember how the rest of the day went, but I do remember spending the remainder of my years in middle and high school convinced that I was no good at Math.

Mr. Siehl offered me something that I have just begun to fully appreciate… He showed me that sheer determination can overcome any obstacle, even if you are simply not smart enough to really make your way through it. My experiences in College have served as proof to me that I am not what Mr. Siehl made me out to be, and that I can in fact excel in the very subject that I have feared for so long.

My father, one of the wisest people I know, suggested that I should get through Calculus, get my standard Dean’s List Certificate, and put together an article for the Surfside News in Malibu, CA sharing my story with the other people from my home town. I’m sure that Mr. Siehl is still around, for people like him never die or retire, they thrive on the hostility they generate and the lives that they try to shatter through their limited power of teaching 7th Grade Algebra. Once this article is published I would love to hand deliver a copy of it to that horrid man, maybe more like 5 or 6 copies and let him know that I have not only achieved more than he ever thought possible, but that I have done it all because of him.